 Editorial
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8-26-02
Lauderdale, Attack Show Dogs
and Beanie Baby Millionaires --
PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.
People ARE crazy. Yep, no doubt about that. I had the
opportunity to go down to Fort Lauderdale the other
day. While I was down there I couldn’t help but
notice the wide-ranging assortment of people. It ran
the whole gamut from the outrageously affluent to the
homeless guys talking to themselves in the street.
The funny thing about Fort Lauderdale, it being a beach
town and all, is that these different types of people
are all right there rubbing elbows with each other.
Normally there is some kind of social barrier between
those who are well off and those who are on the next
lower rung of the ladder. To watch this strange mix
of people try to coexist on the same planet one needs
only to stand on a corner for about 15 minutes and observe.
Or for an even closer view, go to any large chain grocery
store around 9pm. It’s a trip.
Speaking of things I find strange, people are often
categorized as being either a “Dog” or “Cat”
person. That’s pretty normal but, what about the
people who take a bit farther? I’m talking about
the “Show Dog” crowd, the people whose whole
existence revolves around their pets. Have you seen
those bumpers stickers they put on their cars that say
“CAUTION: Show Dogs!” I mean, what’s
that all about? Why should I be cautious? What’s
there to be cautious about? Is some Show Dog going to
jump out of the car and strike a pose or something with
the purpose in mind of making me laugh so hard I have
a heart attack and keel over? Is that what I have to
be cautious about?
A couple of years ago it was not an uncommon sight
to see a retired couple suddenly veer their car into
a flea market parking lot with no signals at all (almost
causing a major traffic accident) because they saw a
sign that said “Beanie Babies 4 Sale”. Now,
any grown man who becomes a collector of Beanie Babies
or is sucked into the collecting of Beanie Babies needs
to have his head examined. Besides, Beanie Babies were
supposed to be a great investment. So where’s the
Beanie Baby Millionaires? Did the Beanie Baby collectors
ride out the recent drop in the stock market by converting
all their stocks and bonds into Beanie Babies? Not!
Take a tip from me. Collect something that everyone
else is not collecting like I do. I collect two-headed
troll dolls. After ten years, I’m still searching
for my first one.
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